--Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
--Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
--Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
--Take everything out of your house as if its just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
--Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
--Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
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