Street sign : WTF

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This is a real street sign in New York City, one of my coworker who grew up in New York took this picture with his phone. You can find many others pictures of this street online.

Quickies

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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' 

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

***
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." 

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

Interviews BIG mistakes (part 2)

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These are real facts that happenned during real job interviews. They were collected by Gradview.com and Monster.com
Click here for part 1

1- Applicant removed a hairbrush from the interviewer's purse, brushed his hair, and left.

2- Applicant refused to get out of his chair until interviewer agreed to hire him. Interviewer had to call the police to have him removed.

3- Applicant said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

4- Without saying a word, applicant stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.

5- Applicant wore a jogging suite to interview for the position of financial vice-president.

6- Applicant interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

7- When asked about his hobbies, applicant stood up and started tap dancing around the interviewer's office.

8- Applicant said he wasn't interested because the job paid too much

9- Applicant had a miniature pinball game and challenged the interviewer to play with him.

10-Applicant pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of the interviewer. He claimed to collect photos of everyone who interviewed him.

GranMa is really old

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Click here for part 1.

1- I want a baby!
2- my cat always sleeps on that pillow
3- Have you ever considered liposuction?
4- I have a confession...
5- Did I mention my transsexual operation?
6- I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
7- And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
8- Does this count as a date?
9- When would you like to meet my parents?

Bonus: Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

That's your shoes

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Who the hell is Lazyking?

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I was using this nickname for a long time now. Why? Because sometimes I can be really lazy. I can spend a whole day in my bed, sometimes even going to the living room is a hard thing to do.
So even if you google Lazyking, you'll find my twitter, my blog catalog profile etc... It was looking to build lazyking.com website and lazyking.blogspot.com but they are already taken. AARRGG

The worst part is, there is nothing in those websites, NOTHING, NADA, RIEN

Does someone know how to get my name back (lool) or buy those domains because I'm really attached to that nickname.

Baby Jumping

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Stupidest game EVER.

Ocean Dome

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The Seagaia Ocean Dome was the world largest indoor beach and it was located in Japan. Unfortunately it's now closed, grrrrrrrrrrrr

Chicken Suit

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Another WTF creations! You can from now order clothes for your chickens online at www.chickenssuit.com They even made a world tour catwalk heuuu chickenwalk.
Click here to see our previous post about Pet diapers.

Transparent butterflies

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Pork martini

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The Pork aerosol wasn't probably discusting enough? Now they have made alcohol from meat. Yes you read it right, MEAT. Click here to read more about the meat beverages.


Gansta pose

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Quote of the day

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Each day is a new beginning...

+ to learn more about ourselves
+ to care more about others
+ to laugh more than we did, and
+ to be more than we were before

Anonymous

3 drunk guys

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After a hard day at the office, three guys decide to go out for a cocktail to wind down. The bar becomes very crowded, a few drinks turns into many and soon everyone is tanked. All three lose track of each other and end up going home separately.

The next day at the office, the three gather by the watercooler to discuss the past evenings events. The first guy says, "I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks." The second guy pipes in, "That's nothing. I got so drunk that I got in my car and drove it right into a telephone pole. Totaled it. I didn't get hurt but now I have no car." The third guy says, "Well, I got so drunk that when I got home, I cussed my girlfriend out and knocked over a candle which lit the apartment on fire. She dumped me, all my belongings are destroyed and the home insurance won't cover the damage."

The first guy motions the two to come closer and whispers, "I'm not sure you understand. Chunks is my dog."

You're annoying (part 2)

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Lesson #2 for being more annoying! I'm having so much fun with these stuffs. Click here for the part 1

1- Answer a question with a question.

2- Don't give to charities unless you get something back.

3- Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.

4- Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.

5- Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.

6- Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.

7- Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

8- Never do anything until you have been asked twice.

9- Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.

10-Dont shower after a hard workout.

Bonus: Change channels every two seconds

Biscuit city

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Things not to say during sex

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Everybody looks funny naked!

Did I mention the video camera?

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

(in the Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

When is this supposed to feel good?

I wish we got the Playboy channel...

Did I tell you my Aunt Jane died in this bed?

No, really... I do this part better myself!

This would be more fun with a few more people...

You're almost as good as my ex!

Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

You look younger than you feel

Perhaps you're just out of practice

Esquimo's kiss

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Interviews BIG mistakes (part 1)

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These are real facts that happenned during real job interviews. They were collected by Gradview.com and Monster.com

1- Applicant claimed to be so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would prove the company's management was incompetent.

2- Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

3- Applicant brought her large dog to the interview.

4-Applicant chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.

5- Applicant kept giggling through serious interview.

6- Applicant wore a Walkman, claiming she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

7- Balding applicant abruptly excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.

8- Applicant challenged the interviewer to arm wrestle.

9- Applicant asked to see the interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to interview him.

10- Applicant announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries during the interview.

It's hilarious, isn't it? There is more to come...

Dogbrella ella ella éé

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You're annoying (part 1)

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Remember the How to be be annoying online tips??
Now, we are starting a serie of posts to help us be more annoying everyday. After all, that's a great thing to do when you're bored.

Argue with everybody.

Get hysterical.

Threaten law suits.

Gamble with the rent money.

Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.

When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.

Don't make up your mind.

Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.

Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.

Talk with your mouth full.

Comment on the weight gain of others.

Art of the day

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By Yann Arthus Bertrand

How to be less Lazy :(

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"Laziness is the enemy of productivity."

-Exercise : to gain energy

-Have a good rest

-Create a sense of urgency: it will be much easier to get up and do what you need to do.

-Look at the benefits: focus your mind on the benefits instead of the difficulties.

-Set a reward for yourself

-Think about what will happen if you don’t do it

-Find partners: while self motivation is the best, sometimes we also need motivation from the outside.

-Divide the task into manageable chunks: " the way to eat an elephant is by taking one small bite at a time." Do one thing at a time

-Watch other people’s progress

My dream working place

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The offices of the Long A Berger Company

I love you Honey!

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Old but still funny

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"