Longue distance break-up

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A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home.
It reads as follows:

Dear Matt,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too penible. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Amanda


... The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Amanda, Matt included all the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:

Dear Amanda,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Matt

Art of the day

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Men's life

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Men's life can be described as a train on a railway track.

When they are 20,
They stop at every station they want to stop.

When they are 30,
They can only stop at one station.

When they are 40,
They want to stop but they are not allowed to stop.

When they are 50,
They want to stop but they cannot stop.

When they are 60,
They can't even start. How to stop?


Related post: geography of a woman?

Purple smile

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This is the proof that a woman should be beautiful inside and OUT.

PS: Why isn't her neck as smooth as her face o_O

Quote of the day

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Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Anonymous

Cookie of the day

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Interviews BIG mistakes (part 3)

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These are real facts that happenned during real job interviews. They were collected by Gradview.com and Monster.com
Click here for part1 and part2

1-Applicant sits down in interviewer's office, leans back, puts his feet on her desk, and proceeds to tell her why he should have her job.

2- Pointing to a black case he'd carried into the interviewer's office, applicant stated if he were not hired, the bomb would go off.

3- Applicant arrived wearing only one shoe, and explained the other was stolen off her foot on the bus.

4- Applicant's attache case opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing women's undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

5- Applicant came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated he would require indoor parking for the moped if he were hired.

6- Applicant said he didn't really want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof he was looking for one.

7- Applicant whistled while the interviewer was talking.

8-Applicant asked who the "lovely babe" in the picture was. When the interviewer said it was his wife, applicant asked if she was home now and wanted the interviewer's phone number. The interviewer called security.

9- Applicant threw up on the interviewer's desk and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

10- During the interview, an alarm clock went off in the applicant's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized, and said he had to leave for another interview.

Only in Japan

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Why don't we have vending machines like this in America??

Your daily FML

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Today, I went shopping at Macy's for swimsuits with my mom. I told my mom that I hated all the suits there, and that I wanted to get them at Dick's Sporting Goods. My mother then said, in a loud voice, "STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH DICKS!" Half the store stared at me. FML
I feel sorry for her

Art of the day

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I made this... Anyway Art is supposed to be ugly, lol

More Mean messages

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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
- So we’re having you put to sleep.

Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…
- What the hell was I thinking

Thank you for being part of my life…
- I never knew what evil was until I met you!

Congratulations on your wedding day!…
- Too bad no one likes your husband.

Hooray…
- You’re divorced.

I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
- Especially since you survived.

Congrats on getting married…
- It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

Someday I hope to marry…
- Someone other than you.

We have been friends for a very long time…
- What do you say we stop?


Cookie of the day

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Quicky

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A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot annouces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Here you go, you crazy bitch, iron this."

heuuuuu

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Cybeel from Scarlett Walk, that's you! Like you know "Revenge is sweet"

Related posts: New way to blog, Losing a bet

Being annoying (part 3)

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1- Underline in other peoples books.

2- Slurp your soup.

3- If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.

4- Be judgmental.

5- Announce when your going to the bathroom.

6- Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.

7- Revenge is sweet... so get some.

8- When it says "Reserved Parking" that means you.

9- Take the labels off of unopened cans.

10- Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.

11- Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.

12- If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.

Click here for part1 and part2

Discoveries: Men vs Women

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The man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT,
The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things…
While the women STUCK to shopping….

Kick ass Dogs

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Spaghetti Ice cream

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It's really easy to make. Prepare your spaghetti like you always do and add a chocolate or strawberry sirop or cream.

PS:I loooove spaghetti and I looooooooooove ice cream but I will never ever ever try this.
Is this a sin too?

You can cook too, right?

Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names

I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

I've slept with more women than Gene Simmons!

Long kisses clog my sinuses...

How long do you plan to be "almost there"?


Click here for part1 & part2

Mean messages (part 1)

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1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
- I’ve changed my mind.


2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
- I never believed in Hell until I met you.


3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
- That you’re not here to ruin it for me .


4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
- Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.


5. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
- Did you ever find out who the father was?


6. When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
- Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.

Related post: Hilarious couplets

Art of the day

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We are celebrating Earth day

Did you know?

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Casino Facts!!

1- There are no windows. Gamblers have no idea whether it’s light or dark or sunny or rainy outside.

2- There’s intentionally poor navigation. They are built like mazes meaning it’s usually tough to find a way out.

3- There are players cards which get frequent gamblers free nights, food, and room upgrades.

Click here for the crazy Malls Facts

Today is Earth Day

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Earth Day, celebrated April 22, is a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the Earth's environment. Today we are celebrating the 40th anniversary :)
To show your love, wear green and stay at least 1 hour without electricity.

For more information, visit their official website or their Wikipedia page.
PS: Don't forget to recycle everyday

Save me

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I'm guest writing in this fantastic blog Pursuit of Something Real by the very kind Louis. It's one of my favorite blog and his stories will always speak to everyone.
The post is called Save Me. Please check it out and tell us what you think. We put a lot of heart in that post.
Here is the beginning of the story:

Everything in Eric's life was going really well. His character spoke of power and grace. He did well to hide his flaws, and made friends wherever his feet led him. He is the type of guy you want to have as a brother… a friend… a lover.

The worst job

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Your daily FML

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"Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary."

Art of the day

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Women and men wishes

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From the blog Deafening Silence
WOMAN:

Dear God,
Before I fall into deep sleep,
I pray for a man, who isn’t a creep,
The one who is tall, handsome and strong,
To whom I will always belong,
Who cares for me and extremely kind,
And even my silliest tantrums, he doesn’t mind,
Who pulls my chair and opens the door,
Who asks for little and does more,
Who tells me “I love you” everyday,
Who makes me smile in his own special way,
Oh! Send me the one who will love me with no end,
And would always be my best friend.

***
MAN:

Dear God,
I pray for a hot, sexy dancer, who cannot speak my language,
Who has big boobs and a perfect ass and is partially deaf,
Who owns a golf course, bar and beach house,
I know this doesn’t rhyme, but I don’t give a shit!

Your daily FML

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Every day hundreds of people submit their stories and tell us why their life sucks.

"Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. "

Quotes of the day: betrayal

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"Betrayal is the only truth that sticks."
by Arthur Miller


"Betrayal can only happen if you love."
by John LeCarre


"Each betrayal begins with trust."
by Phish

You don't mess with him

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Beware! He will kick your ass