The 3 men and the fruits

This one is hilarious!

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me." So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples.
The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

Quotes of the day: Ingratitude

Today I've been in a very unpleasant situation at work. They offerd one of my coworkers (M. XYZ) and I to change our schedules since there is another coworker leaving the job and we have to fill up that time. So M.XYZ didn't want to share the hours and took them all. What hurted me more is that I've always changed my schedule for him, always replaced him when he was unable to work. It's because of him I'm working on Sundays afternoon.


"Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones - with ingratitude."
by Benjamin Franklin

“Gratitude is the least of virtues; ingratitude the worst of vices”

Anonymous

"Earth produces nothing worse than an ungrateful man."

by Decimus Magnus Ausonius

Art of the day

Partial Eclipse of the Sun by Doc Tony

Funny baby picture

Priceless!

Atlanta (Before the trip)

I'm going to spend my week-end in Atlanta, GA. I've never been there and according to my friends there are many cool activities to do. After some googling, these are few pictures I found. I'll try to do as many activities as I can and I will report them here.

Atlanta is also known for his famous aquarium which is the world’s largest with over 8 million gallons of water.

Workout tips

This is an advance post from this one. I added more details.

• Focus on how many calories you are burning out. It's not a myth, we need to pay more attention to the calories and try to find a better balance between our weight and length
• More is better when it comes to working out. Spend at least 3 hours per week at the gym, more walking, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc..
• Carbs or sports drinks are only ok if you are in a long and intensive training like an athlete. Don't believe what they are saying in magazines and TV ads. Just drink water. You don't need all the extra sugar from sports drinks.
• Not lifting enough or way too much! If you think the weight or the machines aren't appropriate, ask someone to help you find out the suitable weight for you.
• Have a realistic set plan. Go step by step and don't rush your training or set your expectations too high.
• Don't use a whole bunch of gym machines, just because they are there or you have seen someone else using them. Don't forget you have your own goals, and always ask a professional on how to use them correctly, and if it's fine for you.
• Eat healthier foods and eat them on a scheduled time. Also avoid snacks like chips, peanuts, chocolate etc... Exersises will just accelerate your results.
• Keep your main workout short and intense. Never spend more than two minutes between two exersises.
• Keep your workout simple and effective. Just because this machine is harder to use doesn't mean it is better. Focus on movements that count.
• Have an active lifestyle. Go play, run , dance.
• Stop listening to TV ads and magazines. 90% of the time, they are not telling you everything, and their only focus is to make money not to help you.
• Listen to your favorite music while running. It will help you forget the pain and will make you feel more comfortable.
• Think positively and don't stress out when you fail reaching your goals. Learn something and use that bad experience to improve your workout and yourself.
  

Guess the place (the end)

If you weren't convinced that the construction is a prison... The game would have been easier if I posted these pictures!

lmao

There is a man in the park peeing in a fountain and a cop comes up to him and says, "Sir you need to zip that up. You aren't supposed to pee in a public fountain like that"

So the cop is leaving and the man zips up his pants but is laughing hysterically. finally the cop says "What are you laughing at?" and the man says "I zipped it up but I didnt stop!"

How to make Love

One of my friends sent my this one.

Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes, 4 Well-shaped legs, 4 Loving arms, 2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts, 1 Fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 Firm banana

Directions:

• Look into laughing eyes.
• Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
• Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
• Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
• As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
• The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:

• If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
• Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
• If cake rises, leave town.

hmm helpful?? :)

Unusual phobias

• Ablutophobia: Fear of washing or bathing
• Arithmophobia: Fear of numbers
• Basophobia: Fear of walking
• Cathisophobia: Fear of sitting
• Catoptrophobia: Fear of mirrors
• Chaetophobia: Fear of hair
• Chionophobia: Fear of snow
• Chromatophobia: Fear of colors
• Chronophobia: Fear of time
• Chronomentrophobia: Fear of clocks
• Cibophobia: Fear of food
• Dendrophobia: Fear of trees
• Melophobia: Fear of music
• Metrophobia: Fear of poetry
• Siderophobia: Fear of stars

I didn't know we could be afraid of music, hair, trees, stars... did you?

Art of the day

The Horsehead Orion Nebula in space

Pool painting

This is a great idea to finish your pool painting, isn't it?

Quotes of the day: Sharing

“Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others.”
by William Arthur Ward


"Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
by Buddha


"If you share your light with the world, truth and goodness will be your constant companions."
by Micheal Teal

Guess the place (the answer)

Yesterday I posted a picture-set and asked you what the construction represents. Well, since it's a big facility, you thought that is might be "a hospital", "a prison for the mentally insane", "retirement home for the richs", "a hotel". Someone even said "it's my place".

It's the central prison in Austria, It's nicer than many homes and cleaner than many hospitals.
One of my friends reaction was "Crime must be high in Austria. Everybody must want to go to prison."

PS: JB, I really hope this isn't your place, lol

Husband and Wife

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

Date my dog!

Did you know that there are thousands and thousands canine matching services? I never thought about matching my dog or cat with any others dogs or cats! I saw a tv-ad this afternoon and it was very funny. Then I went googling it and it surprised me to see that the canine dating service is an growing industry and people are paying fortunes to match their pets.
Here are some of the famous services: Date My Pet, Canine Connection ...

My few questions:
1. How do they know that their pets need someone in their life?
2. How the animals behave during their dates?
3. What are the activities?
4. How do they know that their pet finds the "one"?
5. what if the pets don't want to meet again but the owners think they want to do so?
6. Are these people caring or crazy? etc....

Art of the day

by Maraculio

Can someone explain me why am I obsessed with sunsets?

Diet water

What else can I say? A diet water??!! WTF?

There is ZERO calorie in water, in fact water helps burn few calories.

The japanese company that sells this diet water says that the "diet" water has the same taste than the "regular" water but has half of the calories. lmao

3 strangers on a train

I found this story couple days ago and I think it might be interesting... By the way it'a a true story

In the 1920s, three Englishman were traveling separately by train through Peru. At the time of their introduction, they were the only three men in the railroad car. Their introductions were more surprising than they could have imagined. One man's last name was Bingham, and the second man's last name was Powell. The third man announced that his last name was Bingham-Powell. None were related in any way.

Source: Mysteries of the Unexplained

Thoughts??

Guess the place

For a larger view, just click on them.

Put your guess into the comments. I assure you that you will be surprise. I'll post the real answer on the Thursday.

Click here for the answer.

if I lose a bet...

...I will get this haircut and blog like that.

Short n Funny

--Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

--Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

--How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

-- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends

--What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

--A brunette, a blond, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blond, because she's 18.

--What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

--Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

--What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

Poker Face

Pic #1: disturbing but so intersting. I still can't stop looking at it. Is it the eyes, the eyebrows, the mouth, the chicks..? But he remains cute after all.

Pic #2: scary or funny? This might be me when I was 2 years old, lool. I was such a "case", lol

Quotes of the day: Friendship

" A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
--Anonymous

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend."
by Albert Camus

"Friendship is Love without his wings."
by Lord Byron

"It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship."
-- Proverb

These are REAL answers from children

Why did God make mothers?
1.-She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.-Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
3.-Mostly to clean the house.
4.-To help us out of there when we were getting born

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.-They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1.- My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.- I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.- They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?
1.- Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my mom eats a lot.
2.- She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.- My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?
1.- It means you have to be really bossy without looking boss

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1.- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2.- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.- Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1.- About 30 years.
2.- You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't
even have bread on them!

Describe the world's greatest mom?
1.- She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!

Why should we have sex?

Sex burns calories
30 minutes of sex burns 90 calories and if you have sex at an average of three times a week, you will loose 5 pounds a year. And it can help to maintain your abs too.

Sex boosts your immune system
Our brain directly impacts our immune system and according to doctors people with reghular orgasms are less stressed, less depressed and more well physically, mentally and emotionally.

Sex relieves pain
It is said that orgasm is one of the best natural narcotic and that will works with others chemical substances in your body to help relieve the pain

Sex decreases aging
Sex releases our "happy" chemicals and will help build new muscles and bones while putting a youthful glow on your face.

Sex is great for depression
“The release from orgasm does much to calm people. It helps with sleep, and that is whether we talk about solo sex or sex with a partner,” says Jennifer Bass, the head of information services at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Bloomington, Ind., in a recent MSNBC article.

Magic Moving Images

Who said books are boring?
Well, watch this!

Art of the day

Hanalei Mist by Patrick Smith

Beautiful Fall

With all the snow outside, I just miss the Fall with all the colors, smells and the rain... snif

Thank u

I would like to thank Arnand who post my blog as one of his favorite in this website www.helllottalinks.blogspot.com/ as one of the "Rocking Bloggers"

The 3 virgins daughters

This old story brings the LOLs

"A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said:

"Good till the last drop".

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack:

"Extra Long. King Size".

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Adirways". Mom took out her latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said:

"Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted…"

We sing We dance and We steal things

We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. is Jason Mraz's third studio album released on May 13, 2008
According to Wiki, the title of the album refers to a piece of art by David Shrigley which caught Mraz's attention while he traveled through Scotland.

Personally, the album was a great experience witch catchy lyrics, originality and not boring at all. It was entertaining and brought me to another place I wasn't expected to be (in my mind of course, lol) and we realy can feel the happiness that inspired Jason while recording this album and he shares that happy feeling with the listeners. Well done Jason!

If Men ruled the world...

~Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

~Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

~Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

~If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

~Garbage would take itself out.

~Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

F*** My Life

Here are few bizarre experiences submitted daily by readers in the FML website. It's hilarious and others readers can give their opinions about them.

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room.

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man.

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl.

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?"

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party.

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag.

Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive.

For more click here.

Boost your brain

Here are few medical proven tips to help you think faster, improve memory, comprehend information better and unleash your brain’s full potential.

• Sleep well
• have a network of supportive friends
• Get competitive
• Solve puzzles and brainteaters
• Listen to music
• Write! write a story, poetry, start a blog
• Do one thing at a time
• Be active! Dance
• Be curious
• Go beyond the "first" right answer
• Block one or more senses. Eat blindfolded, wear earplugs, shower with your eyes closed.
• Take an improvisation class
  

Goree island

Goree island is famous as a destination for people interested in the Atlantic Trade Slave. It's a UNESCO World Heritage site and was featured in many popular songs like "Ghetto" of Akon.
It's one of the most visited island in Senegal and the principal attractions are the "house of the slaves", the 3 museems (women, sea, history of Senegal) and the beach of course. You will be amaze by the local hospitality and their easy friendship, the sand and the small pirogues. Finally the island architecture remains the same since the 16th century. So if you go there, you will learn black history (everything has starting there), see beautiful architecture and amazing views and have fun with the beach and the local foods.

Click the pic. for a larger view.