--Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

--Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

--How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

-- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends

--What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

--A brunette, a blond, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blond, because she's 18.

--What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

--Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

--What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

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