Weirds things list

If you weren't sure that I'm crazy here is the proof. I made this bizarre list of myself. Enjoy!

++ I put perfume on my underwear

++ I watch Disney Channel and I love it. Zack & Cody are the best!!

++ I speak to myself (like JD in Scrubs)

++ I've never drunk Dr Pepper until this week

++ I drink my coffe with a straw

++ I'm intimidated by girls with very long hair

++ I eat my fingernails (that's how real boys do their manicure)

Related post:
-- Things that make me happy and sad

Yes you did!

Why so furious?

I would do the same if I was her. This cake is just too small.

Blessed with Sunshine

Translate to: A ray of sunshine for you
I was blessed with sunshine by Sarah. Thank you Sarah, this award puts a smile on my face and I really like your fantastic blog A healthier way of living. You rule and you rock!
Just because it's summer time and it's friday (I don't work toomorow) I'm in an excellent mood, I'm going to share this award with all my 203 followers (I'm super excited!!).
But here are 4 blogs (summer, fall, winter and spring) that you really need to visit and I mention them because of their unconditionnal love and support .
-- Love, Lust & Life because Life is better with a lot of sunshine and that I Love your blog
-- Future Perfect because your future will be sunny
-- Area 51.1 because it's funnier to laugh about sunburns
-- Scarlett Walk because you bring rays of sunshine to all your blogger friends

Don't worry I won't!

The perfect day

PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN

8:15
Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30
Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday

8:45
Breakfast in bed, squeezed
orange juice and croissants

9:15
Soothing hot bath with
fragrant lilac bath oil

10:00
Light workout at club with
handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30
Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.

12:00
Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45
Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

1:00
Shopping with friends.

3:00
Nap.

4:00
A dozen roses delivered by florist.
Card is from a secret admirer.

4:15
Light workout at club followed
by a gentle massage.

5:30
Pick outfit for dinner.
Primp before mirror.

7:30
Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

10:00
Hot shower. Alone.

10:30
Make love.

11:00
Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15
Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN

6:00
Alarm.

6:15
Blowjob.

6:30
Massive dump while
reading the sports section.

7:00
Breakfast. Filet Mignon,
eggs, toast and tea.

7:30
Limo arrives.

7:45
Bloody Mary en route to airport

8:15
Private jet to Augusta Georgia.

9:30
Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.

9:45
Play front nine at Augusta ,
finish 2 under par.

11:30 Blowjob

11:45
Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on
the half shell. 3 Heinekens.

12:15
Blowjob.

12:30
Play back nine at Augusta ,
finish 4 under par.

2:15
Limo back to airport.
Drink 2 Bombay martinis.

2:20
Blowjob

2:30
Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas .
Nap.

3:15
Late afternoon fishing
excursion with topless female crew.

4:15
Blowjob

4:30
Catch world record light
tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.

5:00
Jet back home. En route,
get massage from naked supermodel.

7:00
Watch Sportscenter.

7:30
Dinner Lobster appetizers,
1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.

9:00
Relax after dinner with 1789
Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.

10:00
Have sex with two
18 year old nymphomaniacs.

11:00
Massage and Jacuzzi.

11:45 Go to bed.

11:46
One last blowjob

11:59
Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
Watch the dog leave the room.

12:00
Laugh yourself to sleep

Art of the day

by Karl Decart and Stephen Nagy

Funny Church Sign

the Black Eyed Peas

I posted here the smash Boom Boom Pow weeks before it was released (the video is now removed by Youtube,lol).
Since I first listenned to that song, I knew the Peas will offer us a happy and fun album with crazy beats. Right now Boom Boom Pow is on its 10th straight weeks on top of the charts breaking many records on its way.
The album came out this week and I wasn't disappointed. It has all the rights elements to be very successful commercially and critically. The album is called The E.N.D. (Energy Never Dies). And I totally agree with it because the songs are full of energy (I call it Red Bull for the ears), fun and joy. And that "mystic" energy will stay with you after the parties, the workouts and the road trips. It might not be the best album (few of the lyrics are stooopid) this year but it's perfect for the summer.

The only bad thing people can say about the E.N.D is the use of the infamous 808 autotune. But hey, they used it really well and produced great beats with it. That's why I don't care.

PS: I think Kanye West used the autotune geniusly too.
PSS: I'll start posting Indie Rock album reviews next week.

Dating buttons

Related post:
-- How to impress a woman/man

Dream place

I don't know where this is but it is dreamy

Mean baby

That hurts

A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

Your FML

Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

Cookie of the day

Attitude are contagious... Is yours worth catching?

And the Winner is...

First of all thank you soooo much entering our first contest. Your 111 comments were hilarious, I had too much fun reading them everyday, unfortunately we only can have one winner.
But don't worry I'll make others easy and lazy contests with more cool stuffs to win.
Congratulations to.... (drumroll please)
Nice guys finish last or something like that.
This time he didn't finish last, lol
You can also visit his blog here and let's hope that this t-shirt won't end up like his Subway footlong t-shirt.

Thanks everybody and stay tune for the next easier and lazier giveaway.

PS: To the winner, I need your e-mail to send you more designs and to have your address (amtal03@gmail.com, that's mine)

Hot Dogs

Get a perfect nap

Getting the right amount of sleep can help you lose weight, look younger, and improve your sex life. A nap can actually give you some of the same benefits of a good night's sleep, may relieve pain, and helps keep your mind sharp throughout the day.

_- Turn off your phone

_- Dim the lights

_- Get comfortable

_- Check the room temperature

_- Schedule all your naps, make it a daily routine

_- Eat healthy at lunch (a glass of milk after lunch could help)

_- Use a timer : a 20 minutes nap is "power-nap" and a 60 to 90 minutes nap is a "restorative nap".

PS: You can buy a nap-kit: ear plugs, mp3 with relaxing songs, eye shades, a travel-pillow and an alarm clock

All these few tips approved by Michael Breus, a guy with a Ph.D.

A chinese girl at a disco bar

A man goes to a disco and starts chatting up a very attractive looking Chinese girl.

She appears to be all over him and soon asks him back to her place "for a coffee".

When they get to her flat she tells him to help himself to a drink while she slips into something more comfortable....

Just as he finishes getting the drink the sexy Chinese seductress returns wearing only a see-through negligee.

"I am your sex slave!" she says, "I will do absolutely ANYTHING you want"

Well the man is taken a little bit by surprise and can't believe his luck so he says: "I really fancy a 69"

"F**k Off" replies the girl, "I'm not cooking at this time of night."

Art of the day

Another mind blowing picture by the NASA

Only in Japan (Part 2)

Related posts:
-- Water Salad
-- Only in Japan (part 1)
-- Diet Water