Quickies

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down and that's when you realize you have been listening to your ipod.


A guy says to a salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper."
She says, "What color?"
He says, "Just give me white. I'll color it myself."