Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
All your orgasms are real.
You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
Your last name stays put
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
If you're 40 and single nobody notices.
Flowers fix everything.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
Thank you Matt for the list.