Hilarious answering machines

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I found these this morning and lmao! They are few of the funniest answering machines messages I ever heard.

Hi! This is Jim. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money


Hello! You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need a magazine subscription, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are already clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If you're still listening, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.


Hi! I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message and if I don't call back, it's you.


Hi! This is Frank. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.


Hello! You've reached Jim and Cathy. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Cathy likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."


Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Leave your message




2 comments:

Henri said...

Where did u find them? they are priceless, hahahahhaaahahah

Thuy said...

hahaha loved the third one hahaha

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