--Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
--You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
--Both don't want any more kids.
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
--Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
--I'd run home and play dead. The next day! I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
--When they're rich.
--The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
--The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
--It's better for girls to be single but not boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
--Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
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