Funny/Bizarre excuses to avoid work

These "excuses" were compiled by CarreerBuilder.com

• I'm too fat to get into my work pants.
• I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work.
• I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor.
• God didn't wake me.
• Employee was sad.
• I couldn't find my shoes.
• The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.
• My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up
• My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
• I forgot what day of the week it was.
• I forgot I was getting married today.
• My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can't get it out.

Really? What were they thinking??